We recently interviewed a successful youth sports coach about one of his biggest challenges – helping parents understand what to say to young athletes during the trip home after a game.

Coach Brian Gardner of St. Louis, Missouri has coached ice hockey for 10 years and even led one team of 11 to 12-year-olds to a national championship. Some of Gardner’s players’ parents drive for as long as 1.5 hours to get their kids to the ice rink. That’s a long time for parents to be alone with their kids after a game, says Gardner. Especially if they spend that time talking about the players’ performance.

"A lot of times, parents think more about their kids’ success than the whole team," says Gardner. The result: They give too much instruction, which can undo Coach Gardner’s lessons and coaching system.